so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
