On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
