So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
