This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
