Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Someone came in the potted fern
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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