How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize