covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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