Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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