I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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