HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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