Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
