How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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