I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
