Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
