Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
