I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
