Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
