it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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