It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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