***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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