I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
