I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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