On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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