Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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