North Korea, Best Korea!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
