I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize