no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
