Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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