used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
