I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize