And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
