He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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