He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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