can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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