I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
