just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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