And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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