there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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