I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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