at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
