What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
