i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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