I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
