She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
vagina is talking i cant
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
