I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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