So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
