I want to stick my p in your. b.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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