me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
