I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
