he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
