He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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