I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
