omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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