How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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