Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
