Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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