Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
