I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
