You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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