their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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