just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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